Rant

This is my rant. If you don't want to read it, you don't have to. But I don't guarantee that I won't use foul language or say the same thing over and over again. So you've been warned.
I just don't know what to do. I hate myself right now. I hate being diabetic and I hate being depressed and I hate the things that I do and the problems I have. Being diabetic is somewhat like being water tortured. Ok, it sounds like a long-shot, but let me elaborate. So when you're being water tortured, you are laying down and they drip a drop of water on your head every so often. Eventually it can make you go crazy, yet theres nothing you can do because you're held down. When you're diabetic, its like every stupid finger prick is a drop of water. Even though right now its helping, I still know in the back of my head that I am continuously getting worse. Slowly but surely. So sometimes I am in denial. I like to act like i'm not diabetic. But its actually just making it worse. I don't know how to fix that. Life right now just feels so BAD. I don't know what to do, you know?